As an international student, my journey has been a balancing act between two homes, two lives and two versions of myself. Having moved from Egypt to Texas just a year ago, I made a conscious choice to embrace a new beginning. I wanted to establish a life for myself in America without being held back by emotional ties. This summer, I returned to Egypt for a three-month holiday — the place I once called home for 18 years. This experience made me notice the heavy emotional complexities of navigating between two lives.
My decision to build a new life in America was driven by a desire for better opportunities. But taking that step also meant leaving behind the familiarity of my parents’ home, the comfort of lifelong friendships and the warmth of my culture and my people.
Adjusting to life alone in a different time zone, adapting to a new environment and creating a new social circle were sacrifices I willingly made because I truly believed they were for the greater good. Yet, spending an extended period back in Egypt was a mean reminder of the baggage I carry on my back throughout this journey. Going back to the life I left behind, even for a little while, can make me feel like I’m losing my sense of self.
The experience of saying goodbye, again and again, is draining. Each farewell carries a weight that is combined with the uncertainty of when or even if I will return. The ride to the airport, watching my home fade in the distance and the lonely flight back are all filled with a mix of nostalgia and resolve.
Navigating between two homes is a process that will never be easy. The comforts of the past are alluring. They make it difficult to focus on the future. This dual existence needs constant self-reassurance and a reminder of why these sacrifices are made. The emotional turbulence of this ride is also what fuels my strength to bridge two worlds and find my place in both.
